There
was once a single middle-aged woman named Lady Tremaine who had two beautiful
daughters. Unfortunately, Tremaine’s husband had passed away some time ago, and
she was looking for a little bit of stability, less the type provided by her
stature and ties to all the richest elite ladies in the fine Southern city of
Atlanta. She also longed for more than anything the happiness which could only
be given by a male hubby who could provide for her while she starred on the TV
show The Real Housewives of Atlanta. So
it would come to pass that this misses would find a good Southern charmer to
her liking that had more than a few things in common, to include a daughter of
his own. His daughter was very tomboyish and unlike Tremaine’s daughters and
because of this his daughter’s name just happened to be Cinderella.
No
matter how much Lady Tremaine tried to appeal to Cinderella, incorporating her
into what she and her daughters were doing and treat her like her daughter, it
was apparent that she was just a loner and wanted nothing to do with any of it.
No matter how many Versace Dresses, and Louis Vuitton handbags Tremaine would
buy for Cinderella, it would not matter. She instead preferred to wear a
t-shirt and yoga pants and just sit around the house on her cell phone or
playing video games. This was when she was not playing around with the animals
in the stables on the family’s five-acre estate just outside the city in the
burbs. Cinderella was staunchly her mother’s child and was not agreeable with
Lady Tremaine nor her daughter. And it was not as if Cinderella’s father was
there to help; it’s almost as if Cinderella could do no wrong in his eyes.
So,
it came to pass that one day that one of the state appointed officials of the
great city put on a rave to which he invited all of the upstanding young ladies
of the burbs. He did this so that he could find his son Atticus a possible big
booty boo. Lady Tremaine saw this as an opportunity to get her daughters hooked
up. They were quite fine and about the right age and stature to start thinking
about finding a man and getting out of the house. Tremaine graciously invited
Cinderella to attend, thinking that the young girl could get cleaned up and have
a good time. Cinderella did not want to participate because that means she
would have to get all dolled up and get out of the house. She did not see the
point in getting all dolled up for a man and preferred her video games and
horses. And besides, she had been working on getting her Farmer’s Only profile
started anyhow. Cinderella also preferred not to shower on a daily basis
because it did not fit into her hipster lifestyle.
Lady
Tremaine’s daughters attended the rave, and one of them was getting some hard
looks from Atticus. Her name happened to be Drizella, she was one of the finest
ladies in the club, and it was no wonder that she caught Atticus’ eye. After
some wining and dining, Drizella decided that it was time for her to make her
way home and since she was a little naïve, she did not realize that Atticus was
interested, so she left without saying goodbye. However, on her way out she
broke one of her heels on the piece of metal where the dancefloor attaches to the
regular tile floor. Because of this, she decided to throw her shoes away in the
trash and make her way home barefoot and besides she caught a cab just outside
next to the bouncer. Atticus realized that Drizella left without telling him
and he tried to pursue her to tell her how fine she was and instead found some
heels in a waste basket.
Atticus
was mesmerized because of this experience and wanted to find this excellent looking
boo who so had caught his eye. The next night Atticus searched and searched the
all the dance clubs in the city but could not find anyone who would fit the
heels. He paid hella cover charges in this process of trying to find Drizella.
Finally, the prince came to a country ho down bar and it just so happens that
Cinderella had decided to go out after meeting a couple of guys on Farmer’s
Only. Now unbeknownst to the family besides Cinderella, not only did she spend
quite a bit of time with horses in the stables but there were also some enchanted
chimpanzees which made the young, unkempt woman’s company. Now, these chimps
had been fed and taken care of for quite some time by Cinderella after escaping
from the Atlanta zoo. These chimpanzees knew that Cinderella had never had a
boo and wanted to do something nice for her. Since they were enchanted, they
could, of course, make the impossible possible. The enchanted chimpanzees
decided that they wanted to see Cinderella happy, so they magically cleansed
her and made fixed her up with new clothes, with a wave of a magic monkey paw.
When the prince came to the country themed club, he saw Cinderella, and they
got to talking. He decided to see if the heels fit her. Now it so happens that
Cinderella’s feet just happened to be the same size as Drizella’s, unfortunately
for her. Even though Atticus knew this was not the same woman he swept
Cinderella off her feet, took her to back to his place. This is considering
that Atticus was quite a player anyway and was the type of guy who had a
different girl just about every other day. Even though Cinderella’s man wasn’t
exactly faithful, eventually she moved into his place, because apparently, she
couldn’t do any better and deep down she liked the drama.
So
it came to be that poor Drizella lost out to the happily ever after drama story
because of the trifling behavior of Cinderella and her chimpanzee. It is not
clear whether the prince ever found out about Cinderella and her real hipster
nature because the enchanted chimpanzee would follow her to the Atticus’ crib
and before she awoke cast a grooming spell on her to make her more desirable to
him each day. It so how appears that even though the stepmother Lady Tremaine
was so kind to Cinderella, she did not repay the kindness and never talked to
her family again. Although Lady Tremaine did put that trifling Cinderella out
on “front street” on The Real Housewives Reunion Part 1, but that’s another
story.
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